


Venus and her Rose

by Ninjaman2



Series: Venus, and her Rose [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: (no spoilers though), Adopted Sibling Relationship, Coming Out, Cutting, Eventual Romance, F/F, Female My Unit | Byleth, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Black Eagles Route, First Crush, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Issues, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Lesbian Character, Love at First Sight, Nonbinary Linhardt von Hevring, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Trans Bernadetta von Varley, Trans Female Character, Trans Ferdinand von Aegir, Trans Marianne von Edmund, Trans Petra Macneary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:55:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25086499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ninjaman2/pseuds/Ninjaman2
Summary: Bernard Von VarleyBernadetta Von VarleyWhich could she be?Who was she?She couldn't tell, She couldn't decideLuckily her Rose was there, to help her along the way.[This was written for an as a part of the Fire Emblem Trans Week of 2020
Relationships: Annette Fantine Dominic/Mercedes von Martritz, Caspar von Bergliez/Linhardt von Hevring, Dorothea Arnault/Bernadetta von Varley, Edelgard von Hresvelg & Bernadetta von Varley (referenced), Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth, Marianne von Edmund/Hilda Valentine Goneril, Petra Macneary/Leonie Pinelli, Yuris Leclair | Yuri Leclerc/Bernadetta von Varley (referenced)
Series: Venus, and her Rose [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1844440
Comments: 12
Kudos: 44
Collections: Fire Emblem Trans Week 2020!





	1. Realisation

Bernard Von Varley was the birth name. The name given to the boy that was born to Count Varley and his wife. No matter how hard she pretended, she was not that boy. 

It began early on. Her maid’s and women she’d see pass by were all so pretty in their dresses, it made her wonder if she’d look pretty in them. And as her hair grew longer, she longed for it to be graceful like the beautiful women who attended her father’s parties.   
Then there was Yuri. It was hard to place the boy. Beautiful and handsome. Androgenous in how he dressed and carried himself. Bernard felt so comfortable around him, sharing her woes and views on women, he bought her her first dress. It was pink and frilly. She cried when she put it on.   
“You know, Bernard isn’t really a girl’s name… hmm how about Bernadetta?”  
He joked about calling her a girl from now one… but she knew that he knew it made her happy.

And then he was gone from her life, and with him went Bernadetta. She had attempted once to explain her gender to her father, but he wasn’t sober nor was he kind about it. If she was to betray him, his sex, her sex, his blood; then she’d be the perfect little traitor - his words. 

She didn’t enjoy thinking about what happened next.  
Then came Garreg Mach. Bernard had been enrolled into the Academy, she had been forced to go. By now she had long tangled locks, a little bit of care and effort and they’d look pretty. But her father wouldn’t have his only son be:  
“Walking around acting like a little slut!”  
Because apparently to him, that’s what becoming a girl would mean. She didn’t care for men. Women were what she was attracted too, and that was the one stable thing she had going… until Dorothea.

We’re getting ahead of ourselves.  
On the first day they were told to pick up their uniforms. All the males got the male uniform. All the females got the female. Using her longer hair, she sneaked over to the female line and picked up a girl’s uniform… luckily for her, the original intended owner would never go to Garreg Mach. She hid the uniform and returned for her male one.  
After a lengthy introduction speech from the Archbishop and that terrifying Seteth, the head of the Infirmary came down like a beacon of hope.  
“And for those of you currently undergoing the transitioning process, or would like to begin, come to my office in the infirmary tomorrow evening so we can discuss the details.”  
Manuela was the first person to tell her she looked pretty.

Bernard walked into that infirmary the next day, and Bernadetta walked out. Her father couldn’t get her here, he couldn’t stop her. Manuela listened to her pleas and smiled. Her forms were altered and her identity in Garreg Mach changed. Bernadetta Von Varley would be attending Garreg Mach Monastery’s Officer’s Academy. Bernard Von Varley never existed.


	2. Support

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW!!!!!  
> Self-harm!!!!!!!

She didn’t have any friends. During the early days, she was simply terrified of anyone noticing that she wasn’t the girl they all thought she was, yet. She would spend hours practicing with the songstress to get her voice lighter, even though she’d never had a deep voice in the first place. She’d practiced her walk, how she stood, how she talked and how she acted over months, trying to get herself as feminine in her actions as possible. But it was hard for her, given how long she’d spent being told no… or abused for her ideas. What she needed was guidance, on a closer level then teacher-student… She needed friends.

“Ah, it's peaceful here. Flowers are so calming. Just looking at these, it's like all the terrible parts of the day just disappear. If only people could be more like flowers…” She sighed. She was sat in the Greenhouse, scribing notes in her notepad/sketchbook. She’d this was now her third year at Garreg Mach, and her final one. She’d had no friends or interactions with people outside her teachers, Professor Manuela, and that shy blue haired girl who turned up to get her monthly doses the same time Bernie did. She liked Bernie as a nickname. Short for Bernard. Short for Bernadetta. She didn’t have to be male when called Bernie, nor did she feel uncomfortable with the false name. 

False name.

She often treated it like it was false. Like it wasn’t who she was. But she was a she.

Anxiety was her problem, constantly worried that this would be one giant mistake. It's why she so desperately needed support. She groaned loudly.

“What's Bern doing? She looks like there's something wrong.” A soft female voice sang.

But Bernadetta, so focused on her self hate and despair, didn't hear the approaching student. 

“All these nobles are just terrifying, and the commoners... Just look at Dorothea. So pretty, popular, dazzling... There's no way someone like me could ever be close with someone like that.”

Dorothea. To Bernie she was the epitome of feminine. Long flowing hair. A seductive walk and stance. A face beautiful with and without makeup. She carried herself with grace both in and out the battlefield. Plus she had great boobs.

Bernie blushed deeply at that thought. She had often found herself staring and she felt wrong for it.

If only someone like her could teach her how to be female, she’d probably be able to decide if she is Bernard or Bernadetta.

“Bern, are you OK?” Dorothea asked again, tapping the small purple haired girl’s shoulder.

She screamed. Very loudly.

“Ah! Dorothea! Did you hear all that?”

“Just the part about you wishing you could get along with someone. So, Bern, who've you got a crush on? Seriously now, you have to tell me. Who are they? Do I know them? I'm so excited for you, Bern!” She beamed and shook the girl excitedly. Dorothea always had an interest in the shy corner dwelling girl. She knew Manuela well and knew exactly what Bernie was. But did that make her think or act differently? No. To be honest, it had come as a shock. Dorothea had several trans friends. From fellow singers transitioning one way or the other, to commoners she found herself in the company of. It had surprised her that even nobles struggle with issues such as Dysphoria, and completely changed how she viewed the nobility. She hated them… a little less. Although none of that hatred was directed towards Bernadetta. She was too pure.

“Um, n-no.” Bernie blushed pink. Her? In love? That’d never happen, she couldn’t even get close enough to someone to think about romance. Though she did often think of Yuri during her night fantasies. “I was...actually thinking about...being friends with you.” She admitted, her face growing redder by the second. She squeaked and hid her face in her hands.

Dorothea paused for a good few seconds, her mind trying to understand the situation, but those seconds filled Bernie with dread.

“Me? I thought we already were friends.” 

“That's n-not what I mean. Oh, I'm such a coward!” She groaned and whimpered. “I thought it would be great if we could be closer. But old memories just get in the way for me.” Her eyes teared up. Yuri. She’d thought about him a lot since coming to Garreg Mach… her first and last friend.

“Bern, whatever happened in the past, you know you have my full support. I'm here for you. I thought we'd already been friends for a long time now. Please…” She pressed, smiling gently. Her tears had concerned Dorothea. Old memories? The poor girl was suffering, but Dorothea wasn’t gonna let her suffer in silence!

“Just forget it. We'll never be close friends. Father would just…” She froze up and started trembling, her eyes became wide as tears poured down her face. “He would just…” She dropped her note book and sprinted away screaming. 

Dorothea had never seen someone more scared in their life.

“Wait! I... Father? What did she mean by that? As soon as she said father she…” She paused, she’d seen Bernie without the hoodie on once. Her uniform shirt had no sleeves and she’d seen that the poor girl’s arms were covered in scars. Marks like whips and belts. Others like blades. And some she recognised, because they were on her own wrists. Self harm.

She didn’t see Bernadetta for the rest of the month. Nobody did. Sounds of her sobbing could be heard from outside her door. Edelgard had spent many hours out there, sat talking to Bernie, reassuring her and informing her of what she missed. Dorothea felt a pang in her heart as she watched the future Emperor talk sweetly to the door. She wanted to be the one doing that. The one Bernie relied on. 

Wait.

What?

Her mind seemed to shut down for a moment. Why did she suddenly care so much for one noble girl? Was it the scars? Like a mark they were soul mates? It certainly seemed like they were destined to be together, since the Goddess found a way for them to talk again.

“She’s missed her monthly dose, Dorothea be a dear and deliver it to her?” Manuela asked, tossing the phial to her pupil.

And there she was, standing outside her room, fist ready to knock on the door. As she brought her hand to it, she found it unlocked. She pushed it open and stepped inside. It was a mess. Scraps of writings and half drawn pictures. Toys and girls clothes of varying styles tossed about and a box of… ‘toys’ which really shouldn’t be in the open, though it did bring a giggle to her lips. Once concluding Bernie was not in the room, she turned towards the door to see the girl frozen in shock, gripping her right wrist and holding a damp cloth to it. Her heart sank.

“Hello, Bern.” She said calmly, masking the emotions raging inside her. She could see the blade. It was a letter opening knife. It was lying on her bed, dripping.

“Oh no. What did I do this time? Did I offend you? Is this your revenge?” She squeaked, backing into the wall.

“No, not at all. I just came to deliver your monthly dose, you missed it, and.. I want to talk.”

Bernadetta wasn’t listening. Someone had invaded her safe space, was nowhere sacred?! She was like a wounded and wild territorial animal. 

“If you promise not to resort to violence, I'll do whatever you want!” She stammered wildly.

Dorothea sighed and struggled to hold back tears. 

“Bern, I've just been worried about you. That's all. When I said I was your friend, you ran away, saying something about your father. Remember?” She spoke softly and backed off, walking to the far end of the dorm room to give her space.

“Um... Vaguely…”

“I know you've lived through some bad times.” She gestured towards the stained blade. “If you could tell me about it, maybe I could help?”

Bernie froze. Oh no. She’d seen it. She opened her mouth, but before Bernadetta could say or door something, Dorothea rolled back her sleeves. There were marks all over her arms, especially around her wrists.

“Please. Your father's not here now. Whatever it is, you're safe to tell me. I know what it feels like to… hate yourself...though I understand its for different reasons.”

“All right…” She sighed and sat down on her bed, she moved the knife to her bedside cabinet. “My parents told me never to befriend a commoner. They said commoners are scum and that they'd crush any that tried to come near me.”

Dorothea hadn't expected that… so this is why she was scared of being friends. 

“Hang on. Scum? They called me—I mean commoners—they called us scum?”

“Yeah. But once, a long time ago, I did secretly make friends with one...a boy. When my father found out about him, he disappeared the very next day. I heard he was found beaten half to death. I never saw him again. Since then, I've been terrified of making friends with anyone. Commoners, especially.”

“I... I never knew that kind of thing really happened. You hear stories, sure, but... Oh, Bern. I'm so sorry.” She couldn’t help herself and surged forward. She flung her arms around the small girl and brought her into a hug. “I'm proud to be your commoner friend!”

Bernadetta’s face was soon covered in tears as she started sobbing. Dorothea smiled softly and petted her gently. Humming softly to calm the crying girl.

“Hey now, relax. There's nothing to bawl about. If your dad tried to beat me up, I'd return the favor and then some.”

“Return...the favor?”

“When I was in the opera, you better believe I had run-ins with the most wicked, terrible men. I survived kidnappings, attempted murders, all kinds of stuff. But you know what? I broke those guys' arms. Snap! It was a thank-you for all the trouble they went through trying to hurt me.”

Bernadetta’s eyes sparkled. She knew she was skilled in magic, but physical strength too? Dorothea seemed to be the most perfect and amazing woman in her mind now. 

“You're incredible, Dorothea.”

“So now that you know I can defend myself, can we be friends, Bern?”

“All right. Yeah. Yeah!” She beamed and hugged the commoner back. They stayed like that for a while, and the next day Bernie was back in class. Though now she was sitting at the front of the class, next to Dorothea. 


	3. Haircut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW!!!!  
> Self Harm

Dorothea ran her hands from Bernie’s hair soaking it in the warm waters of the baths as she washed the shorter girl.

“And then I electrocuted him!” She boasted proudly.

“Ha…” Bernie’s face was bright red. The Garreg Mach baths were separated by both house and sex. Only girls were allowed into the girl’s baths and only Black Eagles in the Black Eagles Bath house. Teachers could use their own and the individual house’s. “That last mission was… s-scary…” Bernadetta whimpered softly as Dorothea cleaned her tangled violet mess of hair.

“Hmm it was… I certainly wasn’t expecting Miklan to transform into a monster… as much as I detest Sylvain… I can’t help but feel sorry for him.”

“You… detest him?”

“Of course, most of the girls here do! He’s always trying to flirt with us or go on dates with us!”

“He’s never flirted with me… in fact the other day he was surprised when I said I was a girl…”

Dorothea sighed.

“Did he really? Well wait till I get my hands on-”

“No! No… it wasn’t like that… I just think that… I don’t look very feminine…”

Dorothea sighed and looked down at the smaller girl. It's true that if you ignored her outfit, her frame wasn’t overly feminine and her facial features were hidden mostly by her hair.

“Oh? Does little Bernie want to get noticed by guys~?” She teased softly.

“N-No nothing like that!!!” She blushed and hid her face in her hands.

Dorothea giggled sweetly and finished washing the soap out of Bernie's hair and pulled her onto the warm floor of the Baths to sit and dry together casually.

“Well I think that a haircut might help~”

“A hair… cut…?” Bernadetta looked up at the messy and tangled strands of violet hair that hung over her like curtains.

“Yes. I’m sorry darling but there’s far too much going on up there, and it's a rather male styling of long hair too. I know! Let auntie Dorothea cut your hair, then all the boys will be drooling for you~” She teased further.

“S-Stop… I’m not even into boys…” She blushed more.

Dorothea paused. She’s not interested in boys? Does that mean…?

“Bernie darling, are you a Lesbian?”

“No… I’m from Adrestia, same as you.”

Dorothea smirked and rolled her eyes.

“A Lesbian is a girl who is attracted to women, and mainly women or is in a relationship with a woman. For example, Edelgard is a Lesbian.”

“Are you a Lesbian?”

“I…”

She paused. Honestly she’d spent so much time messing around with the boys that were after her looks or fame, she hardly paid attention to her actual feelings. Bernadetta was in a sorry state. Dorothea had seen this plainly and swore to herself that she’d stop pitying herself and stop putting herself down, Bernie needed a positive female influence and she’d be it.

“I don’t know…”

“I am… hmm… it feels nice to have a word for who I am.”

Dorothea giggled.

Bernadetta paused for a moment before,

“Do you think Edelgard would…”

“NO!” She almost yelled. Bernadetta jumped and looked at her in surprise.

“I mean… no not right now… but if we doll you up she might~”

Why had the thought of Bernadetta getting Edelgard bothered her so much? The two were close friends and the future empress clearly cared about the recluse a lot… maybe… too much…

But wait, what was wrong with that?

Bernadetta blushed.

“You mean… like makeup?”

“Hmm well for makeup work I’d need a little more time… but I can deal with the mess going on up here.” She giggled, playfully ruffling Bernadetta’s damp hair.

So the plan was hatched, and that evening, Dorothea came to Bernadetta’s room. The girl was sat waiting for her. She was trembling softly and clutching her wrist, there was a damp cloth pressed to it and she had fresh tear marks.

“You didn’t…”

“I-I’m s-s-s-sorry!!” She yelled hiding her face.

Dorothea sighed.

“Bernie… please stop cutting yourself… I know it may feel good at the time… but you’re causing yourself pain.” Dorothea had to fight back tears of her own. “You don’t deserve anymore pain.”

She knew what her father had done to the poor girl. His goal of making her into a submissive wife, since she identified as female. It made her sick. And though she didn’t go into detail on everything he did… from the way her skin had paled, the way she held her body…her silent tears spoke volumes of what he’d done… and what he’d done was pure evil.

She sat down behind Bernadetta with scissors in hand.

“Did it… feel good?”

“...yes…”

“Okay… I… I want you to promise me something… promise me that when you feel the need to… hurt yourself… you’ll come straight to me!”

“W-What…?”

“Bernie… you’re hurting yourself and not dealing with the wounds properly. Come to me and i’ll take care of them… if you must do it…”

She slowly nodded and Dorothea smiled gently.

“Good girl.”

Her skill with the blade seemed to have transferred to her scissoring abilities. Expertly, she styled and combed Bernadetta’s hair, finding simple areas to cut away or trim before dealing with the bulk of the issue. By the end of the length process, Bernadetta was unrecognisable. Gone was the mass of hair that sat on the small girl’s head. Instead sat smooth, purple hair, shoulder length at the back, resting just above the ears, and perfectly out her eyes. If someone were to see this Bernadetta, walking through the monastery in her little skirt, they’d know she was a girl… and a very pretty one too.

Dorothea blushed pink. The adorably girl was beaming at her, thanking her a thousand times for the hair cut, commenting on how good she looked now. Dorothea only paid half attention to the words. She was beautiful, her face hidden behind her hair no longer. She could feel her heart pounding as she looked at her. And she could feel her soul sing as Bernie complimented herself repeatedly. Perhaps now… she’d be happy with herself?


	4. Self Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is where it gets dark... you have been warned.
> 
> TW!!!!!!  
> Self-Harm

Dorothea was happy. Happier then she’d been in years. Bernadetta had friends now. Boys and girls alike were complimenting her on her looks. Sylvain was making advances on her. Ferdinand was showing off for her. She could’ve sworn she’d even seen Hubert blushing whilst watching her. Hubert.

She was sat in the bathhouse, soaking and chatting with Edelgard and Petra.

“Bernadetta’s transformation is truly heartwarming.”

Edelgard smiled as she ran a soapy hand through her hair.

“Bernadetta has changed? This makes heart hot? Illness, heartburn that is.”

Petra pointed out in surprise.

“Petra dear, it’s an expression.”

Dorothea giggled. 

The princess blushed in embarrassment and then all three girls burst out into fits of laughter.

Two hours later and it was just the two of them, lounging about on the warm stone floors, their bodies on casual display for them to be proud of.

“I must thank you, Dorothea.”

“Whatever for, El?” 

“Bernadetta. She told me you’ve been helping her out, the hair cut.”

“Oh, that? Honestly it was nothing~”

“Well I’d say she’s definitely more noticeable… I never noticed she was so beautiful before.”

“W-What?”

“Bern, she’s very pretty.”

“Yes but… why does that matter?”

“It doesn’t. I was just making an observation, are you okay… you’ve become very red.”

Dorothea’s face had flushed an angry crimson.

“Hmm… say, Dorothea, you and her are close. Right?”

“Yes…” She was worried where this was going.

“Has she ever mentioned her… sexuality to you?”

“No…”

“Oh… I was just wondering-”

“If she’s into girls. She isn’t.”

“But you just.”

“Men. She likes males.”

“O-Oh… well okay then.”

Edelgard looked at her in confusion.

“And she’s not a she!”

Dorothea added, and then her heart stopped. Why had she said that? Why had she said that?! WHY HAD SHE SAID THAT?!

Suddenly, she became filled with a violent urge to vomit. Never before had she felt so mortified with herself.

“W-What…? Dorothea, she is a girl. Her name is Bernadetta…. Von Varley…. Who only has one child… a son…”

She slowly connected the pieces. And then scowled at Dorothea.

“She’s transgender isn’t she?” Her words were filled with malice now.

Dorothea nodded slowly.

The slap was swift and painful.

“HOW. DARE. YOU. She’s your friend! She’s your classmate! She looks up to you! Just because she was born a male, doesn’t mean she can’t be who she wants to be! STAY AWAY FROM HER! Now I think I know why she cuts herself…”

Edelgard stormed out the room, ignoring Dorothea’s quiet pleas for her to stay.

She slammed her door shut and slumped against it, sobbing loudly.

She was awful. Horrible. How could she have said something like that? 

Jealousy. Bernadetta hadn’t spent much time with her in the weeks which followed her transformation. She’d become jealous of all the attention she’d been gaining… because she wanted Bernie all to herself.

She tossed off her jacket… and then the rest of her outfit and curled up on the bed. She felt sick… so awfully sick. She looked at her underwear… they were a birthday gift from Bernie herself. Purple… just like her hair.

And before she could stop herself, she reached out and gripped the knife. Unlike Bernadetta’s letter opener, this was a knife. It’s edge was sharp and serrated. It's not something ordinary stores sell. It was a black market weapon, designed entirely for self harm. It hurt more as it cut your flesh, and its grip was comfortably and easy to hold, so you wouldn’t drop it from the pain.

She teased her thigh with the tip of the blade, making a small mark, a tiny bead of blood poked out. Then she took the jagged end, as slashed.

She had no love. No love for herself.

Dorothea Arnault.

Likes: Acting, Animals, Decorations, Music, and Singing.

Dislikes: Conceited Nobles, and  _ Herself _ .


	5. Solidarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is 50/50 dark and messed up, and happy wholesome fluff.
> 
> So heavy trigger warning!!!!!!!   
> Massive self harm warning for the events of this chapter.

She would let out of the infirmary after a few days. She’d been lucky in the scenario. Her window had been open and when she fainted, the knife had slid under the bed. The ugly marks the blade left on her chest, legs, and arms, looked more like the wild attack of an animal, and that was the ruling of the infirmary. Maybe one broke in? Or it was a prank gone wrong.

She’d lost a lot of blood.

It was nighttime. Dorothea ached for the blade. She still felt sick, she hadn’t been punished enough. 

The door slowly opened, and Bernadetta walked in.

The two looked at each other in silence, before she made her way over and sat on the bed.

“H-How are you?”

“...”

“I missed you…”

“...”

“Edelgard wanted to apologize… she said she overreacted… after she’d cooled down, she said she understood what was going on. She never told me what happened… but asked me to tell you when I saw you.”

“......... why are you here?”

“O-Oh… right… you told me… made me promise to… to see you when I needed to…”

Her voice trailed off and Dorothea realised.

“A-Are you sure?”

“I… I can’t hold back anymore… I need the release.” She whimpered.

“O-Okay… Okay… its okay sweetie…”

Dorothea cuddled her softly, swallowing her guilt for a while. Bernadetta needed her.

“I… I would like to do it.” 

Bernadetta looked surprised.

“I… I can’t stand you hurting yourself… so… so I want to hurt you instead… so I can be blamed… and so you can be happy.” Dorothea started crying, Bernadetta snuggled into her arms and started crying too.

They prepared some cloths and a bucket of water, alongside some bandages.

Bernie undressed and both girls sat across from each other.

Dorothea gripped the letter opener shakily, and then drew the knife across Bernie’s soft and pale flesh. Crying as Bernie whimpered and screamed in pain. Those all these were muffled by a spell she’d put on the door. Dorothea cut the girl with shaky arms, harsher, deeper cuts then Bernadetta was used too - perhaps she wanted to give her more pain, for greater satisfaction? Marring the flesh on her thighs and arms until Bernadetta was satisfied. Then they cleaned the knife and it was her turn.

Bernadetta carved into Dorothea, deep and painful cuts, but she did not scream, only whimpered softly. Eventually the two girls sat and bled together until they felt faint, then they cleaned themselves up and Bernadetta fell asleep in Dorothea’s arms.

  
  


Around two or so weeks later, once the new cuts had healed, she was allowed out, but was now made to regularly see Manuela about her mental health. Fooled them one, but the second time it was clearly self harm.

Bernadetta and Dorothea walked into class together, Edelgard saw this and rose to her feet.

“Everyone… Bernie has an announcement.” Dorothea called, making the Black Eagles face her.

“I… I don’t think I-I can do this…”

“Yes you can Bern! Just like we practiced.” Dorothea smiled encouragingly and pushed her forward.

“I-I…. I…. I’m trans!!!” She squeaked.

Silence

Silence

Silence

Then there was a volume of noise. 

“Hey Lin… what does trans mean?” Caspar whispered.

“It… means she was born a different gender to what she is now… most likely… born male and now she’s become a girl…” Lindhardt said between yawns, not too interested in the situation. But they had to admire her courage… maybe they should admit they’re non-binary?

“Wow Bernadetta! You’re transgender?” Ferdinand gushed. “That’s amazing!!!”

“I… It is?!”

“Yeah! Going through with the length process, making yourself comfortable with who you are, everything about it! It's a difficult and lengthy process and it shows how brave you are! I, Ferdinand Von Aegir, myself wouldn’t be nearly brave enough to transition!”

“Oh? What’s this Ferdie?” Dorothea giggled at his excitement

“Well… I… um…”

“We could always lend you some of my make up, see if we could make you look pretty~”

Ferdinand blushed pink and… actually looked a little excited at the idea.

Hubert gave Bernadetta a proud nod which made her heart beat a little faster.

“Bernadetta, congratulations!” Edelgard hugged her and smiled.

“Thank you E-Edelgard…”

“It’s a shame trans people aren’t accepted in Adrestian society… hmm, Bernadetta, I promise you, one of my first decrees as Emperor will be about trans rights and the acceptance of trans people as people.”

Bernadetta beamed proudly.

Petra was kind of confused by the excitement.

“Pardon my many confusions, but trans meaning…?”

“Oh, right! It's probably a Fodlan thing! Transgender means the identify with a gender opposite to the one they were born with, Bernie was born male but is becoming female.”

“Oh… Fodlan it transgender? Brigid have that. Wording different though. Brigid it sex-change. I am sex-changed myself.”

There was a pause and all eyes fell on Petra.

“What? Why did you think towel stays on in bath?”

Everyone laughed.

Dorothea pulled Edelgard to the side later.

“I… I’m sorry about what I said in the bathhouse.”

“You shouldn’t be apologising to me.”

“I know but she doesn’t know and I don’t want her to know…”

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why shouldn’t I tell her?”

“... because I’m in love with her. That’s why I said it! I didn’t want you getting with her… because I knew she wouldn’t look at a commoner like me….”

“I know.”

Dorothea paused.

“Everyone knows you’ve got a crush on her! It's so obvious. I just wanted you to admit it to yourself.”

“O-Oh…”

“Why haven’t you told her, she’d go out with you in a heartbeat.”

“That’s why. Because of everything I’ve done, she’d go out with me because she feels like she owes me… not because of romantic feelings… I want something real with her…”

“... That’s rather sweet.”

And with that their friendship was restored, and that night, Bernadetta threw her letter opener into the fishing lake. She was happy, and proud of herself - because her friends supported her.


	6. Found Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, some wholesome stuff.  
> Honestly this was my favorite chapter to write.

The war was a difficult time in her life. Five years of warfare meant it was difficult for her to transition properly. But now six months after the war, she looked at her body in the mirror. Next week she’d be receiving surgery to make her breasts bigger, and hopefully they’d find if it was possible to change her penis into a vagina.

But as she looked at her slim body in the mirror, the styled purple hair on her head, and the tattoo on her shoulder, she found herself smiling.

The door opened and Edelgard walked in, the two girls blushed pink.

“E-Edelgard!” Bernadetta squeaked and jumped behind her mirror.

Edelgard let out a nervous laugh and turned away.

She had come to spend a lot of time with the new Emperor, and had been given a new title, Minister of LGBT issues. LGBT being a term coined by Freya. Standing for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Trans. Obviously they understood that this was fairly new territory so they preferred to rest a plus on the end, to include those sexualities and identities not yet known about. Bernadetta had cultivated quite a following, a transwoman who was open about her gender had done wonders for helping the queer community of the Empire.

“I… just thought you’d like to hear some good news.” Edelgard chuckled.

Bernadetta grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around herself so Edelgard could turn around.

“We found him. Your father. And we’ve managed to get a statement out of him… Freya and Dorothea were… less than willing to let him escape unharmed… the report says that he initially denied the allegations… and Freya took his hand.”

Bernadetta blinked, she knew the red head could be protective of her… but that was a bit far. As for Dorothea… the two had seen little of each other during the first five years, and during the final year, as the Strike Force, they spent most of their time planning or training, they hadn’t spoken in a long time.

“He has been charged with the following, negligence of parenthood, denial of sovereign LGBT rights, rape, pedophilia, and moral indecency. However his fate is in your hands now.”

Bernie smiled softly.

“Y-You didn’t have him executed?”

“Of course not.”

“T-Thank you… I… I would at least like to talk to him….”

Edelgard smiled. Ever the kind girl, even to a monster like him.

“But… unfortunately, we found out through this statement, that he disowned you, at the start of the war…”

“So?”

Edelgard beamed.

“So… you’re a commoner now… unless… unless you’d like to join my family?” Edelgard asked shyly, blushing deeply.

Bernadetta blushed a similar crimson.

“W-What?”

“I… I care about you greatly and… I don’t want that monster being your only family… I want… I want to adopt you… as my sister.”

“....”

“You’d be Bernadetta Von Hresvelg. But unfortunately you would be classified as illegitimate and won’t be able to take the throne should I -”

Edelgard was silenced by Bernadetta hugging her.

“I don’t care about my nobility… or the throne… I feel safest anywhere.. So long as I am with you Edelgard… I’d honoured to be your little sister.”

“Bern… we’re the same age…”

Edelgard chuckled as she brought the slightly taller girl into a loving hug.

“I’m born after you… I’m the little sister.”

“Okay… Okay…. Little sis…”

  
  


Bernadetta made her way down the cold stone corridor. She hated prisons. So much sadness and grief. She passed by cells filled with people she recognised. She tried not to look, they’d be let out soon enough, but for now, she had someone she needed to see.

He was in rags. His long black hair cascading behind him, a shaggy and awful looking beard clung to his face. He looked up and spotted her.

“H-Hello father.”

“Be… Benard?”

“It’s… It's Bernadetta.”

He swallowed hard.

“Bernadetta... It’s a nice name…”

“Thank you. How is your arm?”

“Numb…”

There was a moment of silence between the two taking in each other’s appearance. Bernadetta was dressed in a simple red dress. It hugged her petite figure quite well. Her hair, which was begging to grow long again, was elegantly combed. She even had make up on.

“I’m a princess now. Edelgard adopted me as her sister.”

He smiled.

“That’s good… personally I had hoped you’d marry her… but this works too.”

“You’ll remain here for a while I’m afraid… but i’ll have you released at some point.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m done. I’m done with you. I’m done with Bernard. I’m done with everything. I am Bernadetta Von Hresvelg. I am not your son anymore. But… in my heart I still hope that one day… one day I could call you father… and you’d tell me you were proud of me… but so long as you’re here, suffering for crimes that I… I don’t give a fuck about… I can’t fully move on.”

He was silent for a while, before he stood up and moved over to the bars.

“You… You look like your mother… you know…”

She kissed his forehead and squeezed his hand, before saying her final goodbyes.

And with that, he was out of her life, the last remnant of the man she was, was gone. Bernard was dead. No, he’d never existed. Bernadetta Von Hresvelg was the only girl who had even lived her life. She knew who she was, and she had a new family. Edelgard, Hubert, Freya, Petra, Dorothea, Caspar, Lindhardt, and the Professor. Her family, her identity.


	7. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The End.

The wedding was nice. Bernadetta had cried when she handed the rings over to Edelgard and the Professor. It was a strangely extravagant affair, leading to Edelgard becoming rather embarrassed when she was it. Though that’s what happens when you let the Great Freya Von Aegir organise your wedding. Bernadetta couldn’t tell who was crying louder; herself, or Alois (who started crying as soon as he walked Byleth down the aisle). 

Archbishop Mercedes married them. Being that she was really the only priest they were friendly with who would stay awake during the service. Surprisingly though, Lindhardt was awake during the wedding. 

The party after was less extravagant, but better in every way. Open air in the monastery with all their friends invited, except a few who hated them. Bernadetta saw Marianne and her wife Hilda, Mercedes and Annette, Petra and Leonie, Lysithea, Manuela and Hanneman. She giggled as she spotted Caspar carrying the sleeping Linhardt around. With all the noise and excitement, perhaps nobody would notice if she slipped away, after all, despite being a princess, she was still petrified of people.

Edelgard saw her and the sisters shared a giggle as she ran off to her old dorm. Bernadetta sat down on her old bed and smiled. She felt very warm and safe now. She remembered all the good stuff that happened in this room. Her slumber party with Edelgard and Dorothea, getting drunk and singing in their underwear, streaking to see if they’d get caught. Her birthday. Getting her hair cut by Dorothea. She couldn’t help but smile.

There was a knock on the door.

“Bernie?”

It was Dorothea.

“It's open, it always was for you!” 

Dorothea opened the door and beamed at her.

“It’s been a long time.”

“Y-Yeah…”

They two girls sat and talked about fond memories and what they’d been doing since the war ended. Eventually they just sat on the bed in silence. Dorothea was holding Bernadetta’s hand and trembling softly.

“Hey… Bernadetta… can… can I ask you something…? I… I…”

“Yes.”

“W-What?”

“I know what you’re gonna say… and I say y-yes.”

“T-Trust me… you have no idea what I was g-going to say.”

Bernadetta laughed.

“Dorothea, trust me, I do. When I first came here… there was a girl, shy and nervous, in clothes too big for her, cause she was underweight. And over the years, that girl found her voice and found her friends, but one thing that was consistent was that she was beautiful.”

“Heh… sounds an awful lot like you.”

“Her name was Dorothea.”

Dorothea blushed pink.

“I always thought she was beautiful. The girl I wanted to be, desperately. Then we became friends and I discovered that she was beautiful in face and soul.”

Dorothea flung herself into Bernadetta’s arms and began to cry.

“Stop it.”

“We became close and shared secrets that we’ll take to our graves. She was proud and perfect.

“S-Stop it... “

“Why?”

“Because…. B-Because I’m not all that… I’m not beautiful… I’m not perfect… I’m… I’m…”

“The girl I love.”

There was silence, Dorothea raised her head and her teary eyes met Bernadetta’s. She had no words.

“I love you, Dorothea Arnault.”

Silence.

Silence

Sil-

Dorothea pressed her lips to Bernadetta’s, and the two girls started kissing. They had no idea how long later they stopped, hours? Days? Months?

Dorothea trembled in the smaller girl’s arms.

“I love you, Dorothea. I have for a long time. And not because you’d helped me or anything, but because of who you are. You may hate yourself, but I love you.”

“I… I…. I-I…. I love you too…” Dorothea sobbed.

In the end it seemed like the girl’s roles reversed. Shy crybaby Bernadetta, proud and beautiful Dorothea. Yet their time together turned Dorothea into a happy and crying mess, too shy to start anything romantic except hand holding, while Bernadetta became proud of who she was.

They returned to the party and told everyone. Edelgard smiled at them and hugged them both. Things seem to work out perfectly.

Less than six months later was their wedding. Dorothea had demanded an expensive and grand affair, Bernie just wanted a lot of flowers. They were married by Edelgard. Marianne was Bernadetta’s bride’s maid, and Freya was Dorothea’s.

Bernie walked down the aisle in her white dress and sobbed when Dorothea lifted her veil.

She spotted her father at the back of the Cathedral. He gave a proud smile and once the two women kissed, he excused himself as to not ruin the mood. He would never agree fully with everything that had happened, but he could at least be proud that his child had found a happy and fulfilling life.

He, however, was brutally murdered in a dark alleyway. Nobody cared.

Dorothea Arnault became Dorothea Von Hresvelg.

Bernard Von Varley became Bernadetta Von Hresvelg.

And the two girls lived each passing day together.

Bernadetta and her Dorothea.

Venus, and her Rose.

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I had a lot of fun writing this short story. All though chapters could've used more detail or it could've been longer and definitely didn't need that much self harm, I feel as though I have created a fic to be proud of. And hey, it's a fic I've actually started and finished! Which doesn't really happen often.
> 
> I might make other trans-Bernadetta fics in time, maybe even within the same universe. I've got a Felix/Bernie fic forming in my head plus I kinda want to do a what if based on this, where Edelgard is romantically interested in Bernadetta and the two get married instead of becoming siblings.
> 
> Also btw Bernie's hair after she gets that haircut is supposed to be her post-skip hair.
> 
> Anyway, I want to thank each and every one of you for reading through this fic, commenting, giving kudos and positive feedback. I myself am I trans woman like Bernie so to see such a positive reaction to this made me feel validated. Lastly I'd like to thank Brigid, ModelOmega for being such an inspiration in trans-writing and being a good friend!  
> Thank you, everyone, for reading.


End file.
